The Last Blog

I have enjoyed this class very much. In fact it is one of my favorite classes that I have taken in college for the two years that I have been here. Professor Sexson did a great job of engaging everyone into the discussions. Material that I did not think that I would find interesting were actually quite the contrary. The Lady with the Pet Dog turned out to be one of my favorite stories although I was dreading reading it at first. I like that Professor Sexson challenged us with "The Brothers Karamazov". It was hard to read, but I am glad that I did finally finish it. I also really enjoyed reading everyone's blog posts. Many people had some very interesting things to say. I am sad that the class is coming to an end, but would like to take at least one more class from Professor Sexson before I graduate.

Individual Presentations

So far people are doing a great job on their presentations. There have been a variety of approaches and each one works well. I really liked the first presenter's presentation. She knew what she was going to say and did not seem nervous at all to speak in front of everyone. The presentations that I am looking the most forward to are Garrett's and Ashley's. I think that each of them will put an interesting twist on to their presentation and it will be very enjoyable to watch.

Group Presentations

I think that everyone did a great job on their presentations. All of the groups were very creative with the presentations that they put together. I really like group 1's idea of having a debate about the statement "There are no boring books, just boring people". This was a great idea, but I think the debate got a little out of hand and went off into a different direction that did not argue the point that they were trying to make. At the end of the presentation, the people in the classroom did not know what team to vote for and were confused at what the actual outcome of the debate was. I thought some of the people in this group were trying to keep on topic and made some interesting points, but others were getting off topic. One presentation that I especially liked was the group who made up the skit about the "unoriginal story". It seemed like they worked really hard on getting the script together, and it made a lot of sense. They incorporated a lot of things that we learned in the class into their skit, and it kept me very entertained. In other words, it "knocked my socks off".

pg 287

At this point in the book Alyosha is taking notes about Father Zossima's life. At this point the man that killed a woman is about to confess his crime to everyone in the town. I think that this man should be put into jail since he is obviously not over his killing ways. The night before he confesses he comes back to kill Father Zossima, but thinks better of it. If Father Z were anybody else, I think that the man would have killed him. I wish that people would have believed the man when he confessed his horrible crime, and that he would have been locked up.

Rebellion

On page 227 Alyosha reveals why the chapter has it's name. Alyosha claims that Ivan is rebelling from God. I agree with Alyosha, but Ivan seems to deny this claim. This entire time he has been trying to convince Alyosha that God can not be real and this in itself is rebellious seeing that Alyosha is a monk.

pg 224

Ivan and Alyosha are still in the pub during this part of the book. Ivan tells Alyosha that he does not care about the sufferings of grown-up people since they have already eat the apple. He then goes on to tell yet another gruesome story about a little boy who is torn to bits by wild dogs. I am getting a little sick of all of these horrible examples of the suffering of children! Even Alyosha says that the little boy deserved to be shot for accidentally hurting the paw of a general's hound. Can we get on to something a little bit more happy please?

pg 221

Ivan lays out a terrible scene to Alyosha on this page. I think that I was just as shocked as Alyosha was when he hears the story of the crimes committed by Turks and Circassians. I do not know if this is a true story about nailing people by the ears and shooting babies in their mother's arms. Later Ivan says that people seek satisfaction by inflicting pain on others. I think that this might be true in some circumstances, but not all people take joy in the pain of others. Sure we might laugh if someone falls on a patch of ice, but I would not be laughing if that person were seriously injured. I most definitely would not take pleasure in hurting others myself. I can hardly squash a bug let alone kill a person. I do like this section however, Dmitry brings up some good points and Alyosha has some good arguments as well.

pg 213

At this point in the book Alyosha sees Ivan at the pub and is going in to begin their famous talk about life. They are reminiscing about their childhood and Alyosha mentions that Ivan is still quite like a child still. Alyosha has had quite a long day already, but finds time to sit down at the pub with Ivan. I get the feeling that Ivan and Alyosha do not speak much to each other in their regular lives. I think that Ivan and Dmitry are the closest of the brothers.

pg 203

This is one of my favorite pages in the book so far. I am a hopeless romantic so I love the fact that Alyosha is forming a romantic relationship with Lise. She seems like the perfect girl for Alyosha (except for her hot temper and attitude toward her mother). She is in need of care and Alyosha is just the man to be there for her. They have a history as well which is always a good ground to start a relationship. I think that once Lise grows up she and Alyosha will be very happy together.

pg 123

This page shows the reader what Smerdyakov's everyday demeanor is. We find out that Smerdyakov is always contemplating. What is he thinking? Who really knows? He might just be an intellectual. He may be taking a break from his everyday job to relax and put his mind in a different place. This could also indicate that he has been thinking about killing Fyodor for a long time. One thing I do not understand about this page is that Smerdyakov has as much contempt for women as he does men. I understand why he might have some hard feelings towards men since Fyodor basically killed his mother, but why all the contempt towards women? Maybe because his mother died and left him to live the life that he has got. My hope for Smerdyakov is that he fall in love before the end of the book.

pg 118

At first I folded down this page because at the top it tells the reader to underline in earnest. But now that I read the page over again it outlines the plan that Fyodor has of sending Ivan to Tchermashnya so that he can wait for Grushenka to visit him. It also tells what Dmitry is thinking and Alyosha is clearly upset by the way that his brother is acting. I wonder if Alyosha had expected Dmitry to barge into their father's house to beat Fyodor. Dmitry does certainly let on that something of that sort might happen, but Alyosha does nothing to stop it. Since everybody is to blame for Fyodor's death, I think that Alyosha is somewhat to blame for Dmitry beating Fyodor up as well.

pg. 98

This page is part of the chapter entitled "Lizaveta". The bottom of page 98 describes a scene where Fyodor Pavlovich is dared to rape poor Lizaveta. Fyodor ends up impregnating Lizaveta and when the child is born Lizaveta dies where she gave birth. In my opinion this is one of the worst things that Fyodor has done so far. What kind of monster rapes a mentally handicapped person in the first place? Then he lies about it to everyone in the town to make himself look like a more honorable person. Even after his grusome behavior leads to the death of the poor woman, Fyodor still has her son as a slave when he gets older. Although Fyodor does take an interest in Smerdyakov, the poor boy is still under the command of Old Man Karamazov. I think that Fyodor should have been the one in eternal debt to Smerdyakov, and in the end he did pay the sacrifice of everything that he had done to the boy.

Catching up

Although I have not blogged as much lately, I have been reading "The Brothers Karamazov" and have marked the pages that had a passage that interested me. The first page that I have marked is 95. Something that I found interesting on this page is that Grigory is described as being such a great husband who "had only beaten Marfa but once, and then only slightly". This just makes me think about how much times have changed since the 1800's. These days any husband who has beaten his husband no matter how slightly it was could be sent to jail. I wonder what kind of trouble men who had beaten their wives more thoroughly would have gotten into in those days. Was spousal abuse a punishable crime, or was it just never talked about much? www.pacwcbt.pitt.edu has some interesting facts about spousal abuse in America. In the early 1500's early settlers based their laws on an Old-English common-law that explicitly permits wife-beating for correctional purposes. The states tried to break away from that law by saying that the husband is only allowed to whip his wife with a switch no bigger than his thumb. In 1824 Mississippi’s Supreme Court allows a husband to administer “moderate
chastisement in case of emergencies”. Finally in 1882 Maryland is the first state to make wife beating a crime. Looking at all of this information on spousal abuse in America, maybe Grigory was one of the better husbands! All I can say is thank goodness we live in the present day ladies!

The Tragic Sence of Life

My bad day happened just about two years ago. Many know that with the end of most relationships comes depression and in this case one of the worst days I had ever had. The story I am about to share is personal, but I will share it for the purpose of the class. It was Easter weekend and I had just gotten back from my Spring Break trip. My boyfriend at the time, Beau, that I would consider my first love was happy that I had gotten back and wanted me to spend the night at his house. His brother and him were going to have a birthday party for their friend that night and there was going to be a lot of people there and a generous supply of alcohol. I had to work at the 8 o'clock Easter Service at church the next morning, but agreed to spend the night as long as I could go to bed at a semi decent hour. At first the party was a lot of fun, and I was able to see Beau and a lot of my friends that I hadn't seen in a while. Soon, Beau was getting pretty drunk and I was ready for bed. I went upstairs to fall asleep and Beau promised he would come to bed soon. At six in the morning, when it was time for me to get up, he was not in bed yet. At least not in bed with me. I went downstairs where people were still partying. I asked one of them if he knew where my boyfriend was. He told me that my boyfriend had fallen asleep in his roommate's room. A bit perturbed, I went in the room to tell him that I was leaving for work. Instead of finding him in the bed alone, he was naked with another girl in the bed. I was so angry that I went up to him and slapped him. He immediately woke up wondering what was wrong. We yelled at each other and then I yelled at the girl a bit before going to my car to leave. Unfortunately, someone had parked behind me and had left with someone else so I was unable to leave. I went back inside to call my mom to pick me up. After I told her directions, I sat on the stairs and waited for her to come and get me. Meanwhile my now ex-boyfriend's friends were mad at me because I punched Beau. They were shouting things at me such as "Lena, how is your relationship going right now?" and other things of that sort. After a while my mother called and said she couldn't find the house so I went outside to stand on the street so she could see me. Soon she told me she was still a ways away so I went tried to go back inside, but one of his friends had locked me out. We all know how cold it is still in Montana in April and I was wearing the shorts and t shirt that I had slept in. Freezing, I knocked on the door until Beau's brother let me in. I sat on the stairs until my mom finally got there while Beau was still in the bedroom with that girl. By the time I got home I hardly had time to get ready for church. That afternoon I went back to the house to get my car and noticed that one of my tires was flat. Then I had to put up with Beau telling me over and over how sorry he was when I didn't want to talk to him at all. There are other details, but this is the majority of it.

Reading Sparknotes is like....

Reading the Sparknotes on the Brothers Karamazov is like having ugly fake flowers in your wedding bouquet rather than beautiful real flowers that are in full bloom.

The Brothers Karamazov

I am slowly struggling my way through this book, but the farther I get into it, the more I enjoy reading it. I am beginning to get a feel on the different characters and at the time being Alyosha still remains the hero. He is the one kind and caring character in the Karamazov family. His job is to keep stability when need be in the heated discussion of his family members and friends. Although this is true, Alyosha is not my favorite character. As strange as it sounds I actually enjoy reading the words and actions of Fyodor Pavlovich. In my opinion he is the most interesting character in the book. Everything he says is so completely out there and I just can not get enough of him.

Sonnet

You in your little neon suit
Your eyes had seen me 'cross the room
My heart though taken thought you cute
Our paths would cross again so soon

Then 'round the fire we met again
Your smile was warmer than the flame
A different flame had sparked just then
Two hearts feeling about the same

And now with love I write this rhyme
Entranced by everything you do
I am so blessed that you are mine
These things I tell you now are true

So wish I may you'll always be
Part of my life, right beside me

Found Poetry

I sat down to write a found poem out of my physics book, and then looked at the mouse pad to the computer I had began working at. I thought this poem was more interesting to use.
Bozeman business,
Bozeman discussion
Movie, restaurant, home game
Bozeman Bozeman
Ice pass to Races
Four listing calendar
Weekly Mall guide
Bozeman Bozeman
Free Job!
Move to Bozeman

Sonnets

I googled the definition of a sonnet and even looked up some examples, but I am still confused on how to write one. I understand that a sonnet has fourteen lines, and follows iambic pentameter, or has the same amount of syllables per line. I do not understand the ababcdcdefefgg rhyming scheme however. I think we should discuss this in class today so that we have a little bit more of an understanding on what to write to the one that we adore. Does anybody else understand this?

Araby

Many people say that they find Araby boring, but I think that is what makes it beautiful. Araby is a normal person living his normal life in his normal town and normal neighborhood. He is just like us. He reminds me of myself as a little girl. He has a crush on one of his neighbors and she is all that he can wrap his mind around to think about for any amount of time. When I was in elementary school there were boys that I had crushes on and I went through much the same thought process as the little boy in this story did. Sitting in class was impossible, going to bed without dreaming of the cute guy in my class was equally as difficult. And if we had a scheduled a "date" it was all that I could think about until the day finally came. Granted my lovers and I would never go to a bazaar, a movie was equally as exciting. I think that the boy felt that he was blown off when his date wasn't at the bazaar and he had traveled all that way for nothing. I can feel his pain. Everyone goes through their own heartbreaks. The first one is usually unexpected, but the boy had to go through this to grow and mature.

Winning the lottery!

I first read "The Lottery" when I was a senior in High School. It struck me that first time because when it starts out, all of the people in the town seem to act like it is a normal day. Everybody is bustling around, chatting with one another while their children play as they would in their own backyard. It seems to be a closely knit town that knows everyone and is friendly with their neighbors. As the story progresses however, you can tell that the mood shifts slightly. The closer to the time of the drawing, the more somber the environment. I did not understand this at first. Isn't winning the lottery supposed to be a good thing? Not in this town. The way that Tessie dies takes me back to reading the gruesome ways that people were sometimes killed in the Bible. Even her own children and husband helped the town to rid of their family member. Some societies still partook in acts similar to this not too long ago. Why? To keep the population low? Their town was already fairly small. Or is this because of the lottery? Whatever the reason, it worked well for this community. I just hope Bozeman never decides to make this an annual activity.

A Good Man

"A Good Man Is Hard to Find" started out almost like our logs of Groundhogs Day. It relayed every aspect of the characters day to the reader. Everything that was said was recorded and even the small details were included. As it went on the reader gets to know the characters better. It seems the author wanted to especially emphasize the grandmother and never mentioned her real name. The reader also got to know the children fairly well, at least enough to know that they acted like children, even a little on the spoiled side. The mother and father's personalities were hard to grasp as they remained fairly quiet throughout the story. The grandmother's worst fear is running into "The Misfit", a runaway criminal. The Misfit reminds me of Arnold Friend in a way as do many other themes of the story. As soon as they spot the misfit for the first time, the grandmother recognizes him, but can't remember where from. This theme was also in "Where are you going, where have you been", when Arnold Friend says, "You know who I am, you just don't remember". Soon after the grandmother does remember that he is indeed the infamous criminal, but does not realize until the end that he is actually her son. Unlike Arnold Friend however, I feel that the criminal himself may have some mental problems. He himself can not remember why he was in prison in the first place, and he seems to be a little off kilter generally. I find this story to be extremely tragic, but I feel that there is a deeper meaning to it. Although, the moral of the story........ is the story.

Lot's Wife

The story of Lot's wife reminds me of worries that are still in the air today. Most of America, and many other parts of the world are dreading, and even terrified, of 2012. Theories of Yellowstone Volcano blowing up, a solar flair that could end life for all, and countless other explanations of how the world will end circulate throughout our planet. Lot and his family had similar worries when their town was promised to be destroyed. I can feel the fear as I read the story that must have been pulsing through their veins. Lot's wife could not help, but to look behind her to see what havoc was unfolding in the city that she left behind. This mistake turned her into a pillar of salt, never to see or breathe again. The daughter's fear of having nobody to reproduce with, led them to lie with their father and bear his children. This story makes me think, if the world was to "end" would God find another chosen family to save mankind as in this story and the story of Noah? I know that stories, like history, repeat and are retold, so is it even possible for our world to truly end?

Groundhog Day

My day was another usual Tuesday, filled with class, homework, and other bits of randomness.
6AM: Alarm goes off, hit the snooze button
6:15 AM: Alarm goes off again, decide I better get up
6:25 AM: go to the bathroom, shower, put in contacts
6:45AM: go downstairs and make Special K cereal, watch TV while eating
7:00AM: go back upstairs to dry and style my hair, change clothes, and put on makeup
7:35 AM: scurry out the door to start my car and begin my drive to campus
7:50AM: finally find a parking spot and continue to Reid Hall for my Multicultural Education Class
8:00: Class starts, teacher is sick today so we have a sub. She can't get DVD player to work, so we have another boring lecture instead of a relaxing morning
9:15AM: class ends, go home
11:00AM: start making eggs and toast for lunch (I know this sounds more like breakfast, but it sounded good)
11:45AM: pull out my art supplies to work on a drawing that I started on Thursday
12:30PM: Finish art project
12:30-12:40: Watch a bit of TV
12:40: Go back to school for my 1:10 art class
1:10: art class starts, we critique each others work and begin talking about cross contours and our next assignment
4:00: class ends
400-4:10: make my way back to my car and my boyfriend, Vinny, calls. Tells me about his homework, mentions he needs to pick up a newspaper. I offer to get one for him.
4:25: arrive at Smith's Grocery to get newspaper. Remember I need some other things too. Pick up milk, cereal, and deodorant as well.
4:40: Arrive at boyfriend's house
4:40-6:00: Both of us work on our homework. I have physics to do, he has calculus.
6:00: We are hungry. He begins cooking spaghetti. Tells me he doesn't need any help, so I watch some TV.
6:20: Dinner is ready! It tasted fantastic too. Owen, Vinny's roommate joins us for dinner.
6:45: Jason, Vinny's friend arrives
7:00: The season premier of "Lost" begins.
7:45: I fall asleep watching it (ashamedly)
10:00: Lost is over, Vinny wakes me up
10:15: I head back to my house
10:20: take out contacts, take off makeup
10:25: Put on pajamas
10:30: Finally crawl into bed
11:00: Last time I look at clock, fall asleep shortly after
I tried to be as accurate as possible, but realize that there is a lot of little things that I am leaving out. I'm sure there are things that other people around me were doing that I noticed, but didn't remember long enough to include into my blog. I have no idea how Ulysses was written, as my day probably wouldn't even take up a page.

Memories

I have so many memories from my early childhood, from getting into major trouble, to some pretty funny moments with my sister. I honestly don't even know which one would be the earliest, but I will share one of the ones that sticks out in my mind. One of the first ones that I remember took place underneath my grandparents' ping pong table. I was three years old and my friend from preschool had come over to spend the day with me. We told my grandmother that we were going to play under the infamous ping pong table while she prepared lunch. My grandfather was in the same room, but as always he was taking his afternoon snooze. Kara and I thought it would be a good idea to play barbershop, with real scissors. I cut her hair first and when I was finished it was her turn. We must have been pretty quick, because we were done by the time my grandma called us in for lunch. As soon as she saw our hair she immediately panicked, probably thinking about how she was going to tell my parents. As soon as my dad saw me, he began laughing hysterically. He said that my head looked like a roosters feathers. I don't remember telling my mom, but from what I hear she was not pleased. The next day we went to Fantastic Sam's to repair the damage that my friend and I had done to our precious locks.

Smooth Talk

Wednesday, in class, we watched the movie "Smooth Talk" and compared it with the story "Where are you going, Where have you been?". I felt that the movie followed the book very well until the end, which many people were disappointed with. After giving some more thought to the movie however, I learned that the ending can be somewhat enjoyable. In the book I got the feeling that Arnold Friend was the Devil himself, going to take Connie to hell with him. The movie however, gave me a different perspective of him. I see him more as the force that takes away a woman's innocence. He could be anybody. He could be the boy that Connie was with the night before. He could also be another boy at school that Connie thought was attractive. He is whoever takes Connie's innocence. The fact that he appeared 40 makes sense since many view losing their virginity as something that makes you more of an adult that you were previously. She went into it as being very scared, but after it was all over she seemed more at ease and somewhat pleased.
Arnold Friend does not seem as evil to me anymore, but more of an initiation to growing up.

Dreams

Last night I awoke in a sweat, heart pumping and very afraid. I had a nightmare for the first time in ages. In my dream there was a man living in my house, who I think was supposed to be my mother's boyfriend, but not the man that she is with in real life. He was trying to kill me and had already taken me away from my house to beat me with a baseball bat. He then told me that if I told anyone else that he would kill me for good. I think that I was supposed to be in high school in my dream, and one of the girls in my classes was psychic. Without me telling her she knew what had happened to me. She told me that I could stay at her house and we would go somewhere that I would be safe. Before I could go over, I had to go back to my house to get the things that I needed. Thankfully, my new friend came along with me to do this. We went into my room surprised to see that my killer was in there. I hurried to get my belongings before he could hurt me again. Once in the car, I realized that I forgot my cell phone charger in my room. I was trying to devise a plan on how to get it, seeing that I only had two more battery bars on my phone. I knew that there were three gangsters that went to my school that I should try to befriend so that they could get it for me. While I was thinking about all of this, the psychic girl told me that we had to go to Fort Lauderdale, FL so that the man could not find me. At this point I awoke in the state that I mentioned earlier. People have a variety of explanations for dreams from giving them a "deeper meaning", to explaining them by events that have happened in your day. I am going with the latter in this dream. Friday night a few friends and I went to "The Lovely Bones" in which there was the psychic girl that was in my dream. There was also a murderer that had killed many people who lived across the street from his latest victim. In the movie, the father grabbed a baseball bat to try to kill the man that took his daughter's life. These themes intertwine from the movie to my dream. I have no idea where Fort Lauderdale came into play, as I have not thought of the city in a long time. Perhaps I heard someone else talking about it earlier and that is why it was in my dream.

Because I could not stop for Death-

When reading "Because I could not stop for Death" by Emily Dickinson I could not help, but think about Connie. This story seems to answer the question of what happened to Connie right after she agreed to go with Arnold at the end of "Where are you going, Where have you been?" It seems that they drove in Arnold's gold "chariot" the entire day. They drove a long distance as well passing children in school to fields in the countryside. At the end of their trip they stop in front of a house that seemed "a swelling in the ground". This sounds like the entrance to Hell in my opinion. She speaks about how she will be spending eternity there which could mean that she was either dead, or that she became his wife. I prefer the former so this is what I am going to let myself think. I guess we will find out in the movie "Smooth Talk".

What really stood out

When flipping through "Retellings" there were many things that caught my eye. One that stood out above the rest was on page 885 and was titled "Ballad of Birmingham Bombing of a Church". This poem really took hold of my emotions when I was reading it. It is about a child who is practically begging his mother to allow him to go downtown to march in the Freedom Parade that is happening that day. His mother seems to be pretty protective of him and would rather her son go to church to pray for all of the people who are in the march and that they may be safe. As his mother wishes, he goes to the church to pray only to be bombarded with bombs and is, in my interpretation, killed. After hearing the noises of the bombs going off, the mother begins wailing, tears falling from her face. She runs into the streets calling for her child. When she gets to the church the mother finds one of her son's shoes in the rubble. The last two lines of the poem read, "O here's the shoe my baby wore, But, baby, where are you?" This poem really hit me with that last sentence. It just proved how fragile life really is, that you could go to where you think is the safest, and be blindsided and taken by death.

Red Weather

I googled catching tigers in red weather and found some very interesting interpretations of what this might mean. On the website knitandcontemplation.com, one reader thought that it was just a drunken dream that the sailor might be having and this might also reflect the alcoholism that Wallace Stevens suffered himself. Another very interesting explanation for this expression was that it was really referring to prostitutes and sex dreams. When reading this poem I do not see any evidence that this is what the sailor is dreaming about. She says that the sailor does not have a conscience and therefor is dreaming perverse dreams. I tend to lean with the first reader myself. Although I do not know much about Wallace Stevens' personal life, I think that since the sailor was drunk his dreams could very easily not make much sense and be jumbled up.

Her name was Connie

I was very disappointed with the ending of this story. I felt like Connie gave in too easily and that she should have stood her ground longer. The sense that I get from Arnold Friend is that he is almost not human. He can see things that are going on from and distance, he knew things about Connie and her family that he should not have known, even the way he spoke and moved around made him seem to be of another dimension. This story almost seemed like I was reading somebody's dream or in this case nightmare. I would like to know what happens after Connie goes with Arnold and if she survived. Did her parents look for her? Did the town get involved?

First Day of Class

I enjoyed the first day of class very much. Mr. Sexson started out by introducing himself and taking role of class. It seemed that he was very interested in the nationality of each persons' name. He told us the book that we needed to purchase online or at Barnes and Noble bookstore and how important it was to read a 700 page book. After all discussion was done, he had each person hold a sign with their name on it and have their picture taken so that he could better remember our names. John took the pictures and volunteered to be the resident geek. Koreena (sp?) also kept tabs on what time it was and when class was over. This first day gave me a good impression on how the rest of the class will be like. I am looking forward to the rest of the semester.